Debt Management - Managing FOMO


I got asked recently about the dreaded Fear Of Missing Out, or as it's more commonly known on social channels FOMO when it comes to being on budget and the truth is that we all experience FOMO at some stage. Whether we want to be at home when we're attending something we would rather not be at, or whether we're at home having turned something down and wonder what everyone is up to, if we're missing a great night or experience. 

The truth is, we all miss opportunities or experiences at some point and it's absolutely all okay, because unless if an opportunity to jump on the last ever of something, the 
likelihood of another night out coming around again is actually quite high. We can't be everywhere, all the time, experiencing everything and never missing anything, we physically cannot be in two or more places at any one time. 

Fear Of Missing Out arose because of happy (edited) snapshots we see of other peoples lives and we think are we missing a trick not being always out, or always up for doing things. The truth is I would bet that at least 2 of those people captured in the snapshot of a night out wish they were at home in PJs watching Netflix when the snapshot was taken. We want to project a together image of our lives, but that's not realstic, but we dont want realistic, we want aspirational, we want to know what everyone is up to, if if they appear to be doing life better than ourselves. Curiosity and the cat and all that. 

My FOMO is more, FOMG (Fear of Missing Goods). Why isn't my wardrobe as fantastic as hers, or hers or sometimes, even his? Why don't I have a nicer car, nicer holidays or even a nicer flat?! 

Admittedly, I do now actually have a nicer car than I ever have. (I've always driven old bangers!), admittedly I do now have more little getaways than ever before (I'm investing in a few more memories and a few less material items), despite saving money and clearing debt. I invest in little get aways because, my FOMO on nights out, just isn't worth the brain ache. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are all envious of someone, but we're all on a different path, I would hope that no one is envious of me! Debt is not cool kids, and neither is trying to act like you have it all when you don't it's a slippery slope. You should also never have FOMO if the rest of the crowd is four lucozades deep in a hangover and is debating taking out shares in Dominio's after a night out you didn't attend.  

The trick with FOMO is saying "No" A LOT. 

Takes a while to get used to saying no, practice by saying no and following with a little lie, for example 

"Ah, I can't tonight" If they ask why, lie " I've got a date/gym session/dinner with an old friend, but I expect a full debrief of the antics tomorrow morning, I'll have the office kettle on."

No one has to know that old friend is season one of Spooks on Netflix. 

The more things you don't attend, the easier it is to pick and choose the ones you actually want to go to rather than going to things out of fear. Taking a little time out from all that going out actually helps refocus you, this technique is much easier in the colder months I realise because the moments us Brits see sun we think beer garden. That may just be me, but nevertheless FOMO rages in the summer months because everyone appears to be off galavanting to far flung dreamy destinations or finding cute little parks. 

The best trick I have for going home in the evening sun is, walking further than I would normally, I.E skipping my first bus and just walking 20 minutes, and then thinking about how much nicer my skin will be in the morning if I don't dehydrate it with 3 ciders and clog my pores with a takeaway. 

Managing FOMO comes in 3 stages. 

1) Saying you "Can't" rather than no,  saying that you "Can't" suggests that you have other plans. 
2) Saying "No" Instead of you "Can't" once you get the courage.
3) Organising your own little nights out - When you can afford it, and saying it's making up for all the missed nights out.

Don't check social media, for it's lovely attributes, whilst your handling FOMO give it a miss. If you really want to see what certain people are up to, for example beauty bloggers and their make up looks then turn on notifications, so you're alerted to those and resist further scrolling. 

What you'll come to see is that ONE great night out, is better than loads of little nights out, it becomes easier to manage money for one big event than it does for several little ones across the month. 

Better to save for great experiences, than hangovers! 

Do you get FOMO? What are you're handling techniques?


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