Part of my debt was because I was trying to keep up with everyone else, I was in a professional setting sitting with people on a lot more money than me and my topshop handbag just didn't seem enough for me when it was having lunch with Mulberry and Balenciaga. Having nicer things made me feel like I was fitting into that setting and fulfilling a persona of the middle-class Marketing exec with a degree and a wonderful job.
I work in the Beauty Industry, and it's a bit like having someone who likes cleaning working as a cleaner it fuels my obsession and I'm driven by my passion for the industry to work hard, but It also fuels a habit. I am always on the lookout for new products to try and honestly I don't need any more but I keep on purchasing. My most recent cave-in was a Kylie Jenner Lipgloss, one of the metals heir if you're wondering, I have to say that it is a beautiful colour and smells delightful but it is something I can live without and I do feel guilty about buying it but it's too late it arrived and I can't send it back.
I do believe that the reason consumer debt is rising is because we project this image of togetherness, as I have done, on all forms of social media that we have it all. We want to keep up this pretence that we can have it all, the great body, the enviable food shops and cooking, the enviable wardrobe and everything else inbetween.
But if we are shown the reality, would we want to see it? There is a fine line between being aspirational and bragging, as there is with what we want to see and what we do see. Part of us want reality when it comes to imagery to break the cycle, but part of us also wants to see images that we aspire to, that can drive us. I love a perfectly all white room on pinterest and would love my house to look like that, but there will always be a stray plate or cup laying around which I haven't got around to washing yet.
As progressing through my 20s (not ageing, progressing it sounds nicer) I am learning that actually the things I want now I can't have because I have been reckless in my early 20s. I can't afford the botox I would like, the filler I would like and right now I couldn't be further away from a nice handbag unless I lived at the bottom of the ocean this is because I spent too long trying to emulate people of a higher stature than me, I spent years buying designer when I should have just embraced the high street. I spent far to long in Topshop buying all new season, and having nails did, hair did and everything did before I could afford it. Now all my wages go on clearly my debt, when they could be being spent on the fun stuff.
A few moons ago in the 50s (correct me if i'm wrong on the dates) it was called "Keeping up with the jones'" the fictional family "The Jones" which was a popular surname was adapted to mean keeping up with everyone else. If "The Jones'" had a TV, well, all the houses on the street had to get a TV to Keep up with them to not appear lesser than. We have this now almost on a global scale because of the internet which puts increasing pressure on everyone to conform to the perfect lifestyle. It puts pressure on us to think that If we do have a designer wardrobe or 6 that we aren't successful. Success if a very funny thing, this morning I was successful in getting up at the first alarm (WIN) but later I feel I will not be successful in curbing my coffee intake.
If you attempt to keep up with the whole of instagram you'll only get yourself into a pickle. If you find yourself feeling the need to keep up take a step back and refocus, use that as motivation if you need to, but never let it get you down. Everyone's path is different and having someone to aspire to can be a great driver but we have to appreciate what we have.
There is no need to keep up with anyone, shout your daily successes, shout when you need support. Social media can be a harsh place to scroll around, but it can also be supportive if you know where to look.
The appearance of having it all, is not worth sacrifices you have to make if you have to project this image at the loss of a good credit history and when you can afford the finer things, you're too busy paying of debt.
If you're looking to splash out, splash out on memories, these are much less likely to lead to regret, than an a Topshop haul that will be out of fashion in two minutes.
X TWC
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